Dear Kat:
I have worked as an admin for my present boss for three years. In the last month, I have discovered an opportunity for a new position with a new boss, just down the hall. This offer is from a department with whom we work closely, although there has been tension. Nevertheless, for me, this new opportunity means more pay, new skills, new people to deal with, and one step closer to stepping into management n my dream. My present boss does not want to let me go. She declares that she will match my new pay. She says she will expand my roles to include those promised to me. Yet, I know if I stay with her, I will not get the increased visibility I need in this company. Yes, she will give me all that she promises n she has never let me down. However, I want these new challenges to broaden my career experiences. I don't want to desert her, and yet I need to do what is right for me. How can I handle this?
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Dear Eduardo,
Your present boss is acting selfishly. While I understand that losing good people is frustrating and time consuming, it is simply part and parcel of being in management. Furthermore, she needs to see the bigger picture of your career needs. The old quote, "The only consistent thing in life is change," reminds us that she needs to let you go on to a new level. As good as you are, there are other talented people, and she will find them with enough effort. Perhaps you can help her.
With cutbacks, frozen wages, and skeleton crews, the search for a new person is difficult. Here's what you can do to ease the transition:
1. Sit down with her at a peaceful time in the office. First thing in the morning is the best time, when everyone is fresh and free from the onslaught of the day's events. Use notes, if you are nervous. Start with the positive: how flattered you are that she wants to keep you. Comment on your excellent working relationship. Then, spell out to her how important this move is to you, from your perspective. Explain your need to learn to work with as many personalities as possible, as a career benefit. Tell her how important it is for you to experience new challenges with new tasks in a new environment. Of course, she already knows all of these factors, if she has been a concerned manager. Pointing them out to her will help bring it out in the open.
2. Give her time to get used to the idea. Especially if she is a very focused, organized person, this change of plans can throw her into a temporary tailspin. Offer to stay with her for six more weeks, to help her find the right person. (Of course, you will have to check with the new boss to see if this is appropriate.) Propose that you will participate in interviews, helping to focus questions. Warning: stick to staying with her six weeks MAX. Otherwise, you may get sucked in to a power play on her part.
3. Remember the sales acronym, WIIFM. What's In It For Me. To sell your boss, point out some benefits to your new position for her. A benefit that comes to mind immediately: you will be a link between these two departments so that you can work more efficiently together. You will keep her posted on latest developments. You will work with her new admin to keep communication lines open, to ease past tensions.
Try to ease your boss into the idea of your leaving. If she is a reasonable manager, she will understand your needs and her resistance will soften. If not, take a hard look at your position. Decide if her inflexibility will continue. If so, you may have discovered an unacceptable condition. You might want to consider finding another job in another company.
Kat Krauss, MSW, is a Tucson-based sales presentation strategist and therapist for business relationships all over the country. If you would like your issue discussed here, please send your questions to kat@katkrauss.com.
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